Men

It's coming to that time already where months have passed since my last relationship, and I'm starting to feel like I wouldn't mind a new one. But at the same time, as much as I would like a relationship, I shy away from the idea. Because relationships are allot of upkeep and effort. Not that I really try that hard in upkeep and effort.

But to be honest it's not the upkeep and effort that really repels me. I'm all for that. I had a live in boyfriend for a year, and that was great. but then, when you stay with a guy long enough you realise they're just... well, jerks. All in their own way. But my ex-boyfriends all seem to be jerks in the same way. Even my male friend is exactly the same.

1: they treat me like my opinion holds no value what so ever. When opinion is backed up with facts.
This isn't just my flatmate who disriguards anything that comes out of my mouth that comes close to a personal opinion or information. but allot of my previous boyfriends did it too. And very patronizing about it too. I don't know why. It's not like I pick sexist pigs to date. Because I don't. and it doesn't come across when you first know them. but after a few months you really start to notice the throw away comments they make after something you say which makes you think they don't really care, because they think they're right. and then you know they just become complacent with the idea that you're an idiot or something. I'm not an idiot. And I'm sick and tired of being treated like one.

2: Hurr hurr boobs.
You know, back in secondary school, when I wore thick glasses and had my hair done up in a pony tail I never had this problem. Guys thought I was a geek because I read lots of books, and played a few games. I was a social outcast. I mean geeze, I didn't even have boobs till I went to university. and since arriving there is the "OMG BOOBS" element of guys. Guys who approach because I'm attractive. Which I generally ignore. But the guys who I've dated at university... well... sure we had things in common, but it soon came apparent that they really only liked me for one thing. Pretty looks. Big chest. Fuck off you men.

So when entertaining the idea of finding a new boyfriend I can't help but wiggle my nose and think: no. no I don't want to date you sexist pigs. I mean, I might find a guy like my first boyfriend, who was wonderful, but started treating me like an idiot towards the end of our relationship. Screw that, I might want a boyfriend, but I don't need a boyfriend. Not right now anyway. Just URK. 

I know I could just go back to how I used to look. But that did nothing for my self esteem. And I like looking nice, I don't try as hard as some girls. but it works. whatever... Whatever I say!