The Obsession

Has anyone ever experienced 'The Obsession'? I'm sure I can't be the only one. You're just minding your own business and then you come across something you love. It can be something absurd and simple, but once you've found it you can't stop thinking about it, you've got to keep focused on it. You spend every second of every day googling and you tubing everything associated with it!

That is 'The Obsession'. Sometimes it can be a good thing. Definitely if it's work related. I do some of my best work when I'm on obsession mode. So worked up about something and so inspired that I write out masterpieces. Which once the obsession runs it course I instantly forget about. Because of course, Obsessions die. But my obsessions tend to be more focused on other peoples works. Which is okay, because they inspire me to go into obsessive creative mode too.

I can still sort of remember my main obsessions. Mainly because they tend to last months rather than days or weeks:
1. Dragon Ball Z: Sad but true. As a kid I was obsessed with this show. I spent every single bit of free time on DBZ fan sites, and writing bad fan fiction. It is the only show I have written fan fiction for. Mainly because my parents found my idolizing writing and laughed at it. So now I no longer write fan fiction.
2. Pokemon: Yeah, still a little obsessed on this one. In that I buy all the games, even though I haven't completed a game since emerald green. Sad I know. >.< GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL SUCKAS!
3. Harry Potter: Mainly because it was the first big book I read. The first four books I have read over ten times. If I had no new books to read I would just read them again. I knew these books so well I could quote paragraphs. PARAGRAPHS! But this obsession pretty much ended around the same time the first movie came out, followed by the 5th book. Worse on top of worse! So yeah, used to love them, knew every single thing about them, now I hardly remember anything.
4. House: I probably did have obsessions before House, bu I can't remember them. So, they weren't true long period obsessions. I love House. I have box-sets 1-5. when I started watching the shows I could re-watch episodes up to three times. I was a shameless fan. Even now when new episodes come out, if they're really good ones I'll just watch them again on the same day. No shame there. I love House. My flat mate scorns me for my love. He thinks Hugh Laurie should of stuck to the old stuff he was doing. I tell him that his career has moved on from then. And House is amazing. I never feel like House is trying to stupidfy itself for its audience. It is definitely one of the best American dramas.
5. Hetelia: NO THIS IS NOT JAPANESE PORN! Hetelia and Hentai are two different things. Hetelia means Italy in Japanese I think. Cause it's a little anime about Italy personified.... well it's about the countries of the world personified, and it's mostly focused on the period around World War 2. Each episode is about 5-6 minutes long. It was a online webcomic before it became an anime, and I did read the webcomic before watching the anime. They're both a little different, I think the webcomic is perhaps funnier than the anime. Unless it's English dubs. Because the English dubbed version of Hetelia is hilarious. They use accents and everything. and you don't really feel too bad about laughing at it because Hetelia makes fun of pretty much every country. Every single stereotype is probably in there. I love their personification of England and France. So cute! Definitely worth watching. And try not to get too obsessed. It is good. x3

So what is my new obsession which inspired this post? Minecraft. I wasn't going to play, it and now I did, and now all I can think about is bloody Minecraft. The worlds most simplest game. What's it about? Mining and crafting! Duh! and that's basically it. But if you dare play it you will lose a day. Seriously. It is one of those games that you can forget to to eat after playing it. It sucks you in, especially if you have a project. and then next thing you know it's 1am and you haven't eaten since yesterday. So I guess this is why I'm writing this. To warn the world of Minecraft. You might think it looks like pixerlated polygrammed shit, but you play it and you will be lost to us all! It takes allot of self control to sit here and write this and not just go on it and play. It really really does. I am planning what to build, where to dig my mine, so and so forth >.< It's like harvest moon! but more addictive!!! So this is a note to the world. Do not play Minecraft. Unless you have allot of free time on your hands. Because you might mean to do work, and then you play it and BAM! There goes your work time..... Obsession is an evil thing indeed. definitely when added to addictive games >.<

Men

It's coming to that time already where months have passed since my last relationship, and I'm starting to feel like I wouldn't mind a new one. But at the same time, as much as I would like a relationship, I shy away from the idea. Because relationships are allot of upkeep and effort. Not that I really try that hard in upkeep and effort.

But to be honest it's not the upkeep and effort that really repels me. I'm all for that. I had a live in boyfriend for a year, and that was great. but then, when you stay with a guy long enough you realise they're just... well, jerks. All in their own way. But my ex-boyfriends all seem to be jerks in the same way. Even my male friend is exactly the same.

1: they treat me like my opinion holds no value what so ever. When opinion is backed up with facts.
This isn't just my flatmate who disriguards anything that comes out of my mouth that comes close to a personal opinion or information. but allot of my previous boyfriends did it too. And very patronizing about it too. I don't know why. It's not like I pick sexist pigs to date. Because I don't. and it doesn't come across when you first know them. but after a few months you really start to notice the throw away comments they make after something you say which makes you think they don't really care, because they think they're right. and then you know they just become complacent with the idea that you're an idiot or something. I'm not an idiot. And I'm sick and tired of being treated like one.

2: Hurr hurr boobs.
You know, back in secondary school, when I wore thick glasses and had my hair done up in a pony tail I never had this problem. Guys thought I was a geek because I read lots of books, and played a few games. I was a social outcast. I mean geeze, I didn't even have boobs till I went to university. and since arriving there is the "OMG BOOBS" element of guys. Guys who approach because I'm attractive. Which I generally ignore. But the guys who I've dated at university... well... sure we had things in common, but it soon came apparent that they really only liked me for one thing. Pretty looks. Big chest. Fuck off you men.

So when entertaining the idea of finding a new boyfriend I can't help but wiggle my nose and think: no. no I don't want to date you sexist pigs. I mean, I might find a guy like my first boyfriend, who was wonderful, but started treating me like an idiot towards the end of our relationship. Screw that, I might want a boyfriend, but I don't need a boyfriend. Not right now anyway. Just URK. 

I know I could just go back to how I used to look. But that did nothing for my self esteem. And I like looking nice, I don't try as hard as some girls. but it works. whatever... Whatever I say!

Comedian

When doing my BA(hons) I was watching allot of comedy, because I was writing mostly comedy pieces. I like to write stories with a funny edge to them, whether it be black humor or light. but in that period I decided I wanted to be a Comedian. Until I decided I wasn't funny. I told this to my bed mate at the time (long story, involves stolen shoes,) and she was like "what are you talking about? You're the funniest person I know!"

It's weird to say I don't think I'm funny I realize, when my web comic is meant to be funny. And I am often told by readers it is the most funniest thing they have ever read as well. And most the time I'm not purposefully being funny. But once when I went back and read some of it, just to go over what I'd already done, I realized that I'd managed to do allot of accidental satire. I realized I'd captured allot more humor than ever intended. So I don't know, maybe I'm just a natural at writing such stuff.

But lately, I have been having that train of thought again. Maybe it's because of my mission to become a famous person. Or because I watch these comedians and think: I can do that. Not that I'd want to... I mean... I'm pretty stage shy. And I hate my voice. I think I have such a childish voice. and I can't even hear it. But i listen to it on video or mic and it just sounds so BAD! I hate it! It's not a comedian's voice, or even a famous persons voice. It is just a bad voice. But if I keep thinking about this route, I am going to feel more and more like I could do it. Not that I'd know how. Or have the confidence to do it. I feel like such a female David Mitchell. but perhaps less socially awkward.... but not that much less.

The image

To be famous you need an image. A fake representation of yourself. Well. As far as I can tell that is what you need. An image that everyone sees. All smokes and mirrors. So this is the image people love. Kind of like what Lady Gaga has done. she has made her entire being a show for everyone to watch, just waiting for it to fall down in ruin.

So I have been putting allot of thought into what image I want to portray myself as. I am a boring person. I love to read, draw and play computer games. I would rather sit indoors playing Mass Effect or reading a new book, or trying to write my own than go out and party. But such boring characteristics do not get you famous.

so the only solution is to make oneself as eccentric as possible.

There is actually a style of dress that I personally love. But I never wear. I love old styled English clothes, I love Gothic clothes, I love anything in the military style. I love it. and so, it seems only natural to me to make a personality out of these things that I love. Which I think makes me look a little stereotypical English when added together. But who cares right? As long as I look pretty and pull it off. We shall see, we shall see.

As my first step into fame will be.... Internet videos! Thus why I need an image. Do you see where this is going? Something that can establish me as a writer, a reader, and an authoritative voice of reason! Why yes, I'm going to do video reviews. It only seems like the natural step. First the Internet! And then... the world!

The quest for fame

Being a writer I am socially inclined to hide away in a wardrobe and ignore the world. The world is a scary thing full of people. Occasionally the two mesh, my closet and the people. But I'm not really one for running out there and bumping into things. So I guess it is a strange thing to announce I do have this sort of secret quest for fame.

I've always had this feeling that it's socially unacceptable to want to be famous when you're a writer. So I've never mentioned it before. But I'm told I need to focus my blog. So I announce my beginning in my quest for fame. As a writer.

Because at the end of the day that is all I'm good for. I can't sing, I can't dance, I'm not thin, and I'm not anything special. Really it's not like I decided as a child I wanted to be famous. Because fame itself doesn't really interest me. The idea really first came around to me when I became aware of how much celebrities suck.

I personally loath the celebrity society we live in. Because people are nosy for all the wrong reasons about the wrong sort of people. I don't care about Posh and Becks, I don't care about what Gaga is wearing, I don't care how Amy whinehouse screwed up again this week! I just don't care! Stop being nosy!

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if it was always someone talented. because you kind of want to know about people you admire. But seriously. who admires Jordan? She is utterly talentless, and her fame is ridiculous.

And it has always annoyed me personally that writers don't get this level of fame that singers or models or footballers, or whatever gets. because I think it takes allot more talent to write a book, or bring out news stories every single day or whatever, than it does to sing in tune. Lots of people can sing good, not so many can write well. And ever since this realization  that writers don't get the credit that they deserved I decided that I wanted to be famous. Not just a famous writer, but a famous figure. I wanted to be known and loved by sight. I wanted to bring reading back to the people who are brain washed by pop culture! I wanted to do so much and more because you can't trust these idiots to be responsible role models! and you know what they say? If someone can't do it, then do it your damn self!

So yeah, that's why I want to be famous. Not because I particularly want to be a celebrity, but because writers deserve allot more credit than they get. So I'm not sure what one should do once they've made the decision to be famous. I suppose produce something to be famous for.

So I am releasing a warning to the world! Give me a few years and I'll be more damn famous than J.K.Rowling. That is where I am aiming for. Not too high is it? I don't think so either. ;)